This Is The End
by Vain x Life Poetess
Summary: All the courtiers are celebrating the betrothal of Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII when God decides to wreck havoc on the world. Chaos and hilarity ensues.


**Had an awful row with my dad. He called me stupid basically for defending Anne Boleyn and Katherine, he's n old Mexican male who believes women are evil and wishes I was dead.  
**

**Comedy story I hope you enjoy.**

**I altered some of the ages. Mary is born 1513 not 1516.**

** Some drama**

**CAST:**

**ANNE BOLEYN**

**THOMAS MORE**

**THOMAS CROMWELL**

**EDWARD "NED" SEYMOUR**

**THOMAS SEYMOUR**

**HENRY VIII**

**EUSTACE CHAPUYS**

**JANE SEYMOUR**

**and MARY TUDOR**

So this is our confession, our last confession if you will before the world suddenly ends and it goes like this:

_Henry danced in merriment, showing everyone what a beautiful wife he had. Thomas did nothing but roll his eyes. "Tell me Sir Thomas does this not seem like a wedding feast to you?"_

_"I hope not Excellency." Sir Thomas said but he knew better. Henry was presenting his new bride to everyone. If rumors were true and Wolsey was tried, then it would rock the papacy and the whole of Europe's core. He would divorce his wife from twenty years and marry this harlot._

_Things could not get worse. _

_And everyone was partying like there was no tomorrow until ..._

_There was a sudden earthquake. Gardiner, that over fanatic zealot and his minions crossed themselves and Cromwell who was high, and Thomas meant high -rising in the social ladder as His Majesty's Secretary, perked his head up as he shouted "Up there in the sky!"_

_There were balls of fire, blue fire that ... Thomas gasped. Everyone rushed outside not caring if they mingled with the servitude. _

_"What the fuck?!" Henry cursed and in response the earth split open. I mean literally, Thomas thought, split open!_

_Everyone shouted and rushed back to the palace but fire came their way and when Charles Brandon yelled to the guards to protect their King, they were sucked out of the air by this blue light and brought into the heavens never to be seen or heard from again._

_"What the hell is going on here?" Thomas Boleyn and his brother in law asked but they soon disappeared as another ball of fire came their way. Half of the palace was in flames and when the flames died away as if by some miracle, the earth opened up again and this time they were not so lucky to escape from the horrors they witnessed._

_Henry VIII by the grace of God, was sucked into the hole and fell into the bottomless pit of hell. "Henry!" Anne, the woman who had invested all of her fortunes in him screamed. _

_She tried to help him but seeing everyone else dying around her, she chose not to and instead like those left, fought for her survival._

_Thomas tried to avoid everyone and run to the nearest horse. He had to go to Chelsea. To see if his wife and children were still alive. Unfortunately when God says I will take everything from you, he means it. _

_Thomas Cromwell, seeing Thomas More was walking into his death, grabbed his arm and together with the eldest Seymour brothers and their sister, Jane Seymour, they overpowered him and dragged him back to Hampton._

_"Calm yourself Sir Thomas!"_

_"You do not understand! I have to go back there! My family is at risk."_

_"So are all our families." Jane said. "But you don't see us running around like crazies, the best thing we can do is stay here and wait for help."_

_"And what help is that you pale ninny? Hope that God will send his angels? Please, don't be such a ninny."_

_"Well, at least I am trying which is something you should be doing since this is all your fault."_

_"My fault?" Anne asked, appalled and shocked that this girl, this USELESS girl had dared to speak to her. HER who was going to be Queen!_

_Jane smirked, not missing the would have been Queen's haughty look. She put both her hands on her hips. "I am sorry to say Lady Anne but you are just a simple Marques now and no Queen, or didn't you hear the news? His Majesty just got sucked into hell honey!"_

_"Do not dare honey me you Seymour slut."_

_"Dark haired bitch."_

_"Pale ninny."_

_"Heretic!"_

_"Bitch!"_

_"Whore!"_

_"Okay stop it!" Cromwell yelled spreading his arms and putting himself between them. If they kept this up they would be going at each other like she-cats. Not that some of the men wouldn't mind. He could see Thomas' expecting look. Ugh, perverted man was probably thinking of them naked going at each other like a pair of bitches in heat fighting for their alpha male._

_Honestly, where were the morals in this court? Did men and women have no decency anymore?_

_No, Thomas More gave him the answer as he pointed to the two naked people outside Hampton from the window, making love._

_"Listen, I don't like this anymore than you do. But we are going to have to stay here, fortify this castle and hope to God that we survive through the night."_

_"How are we going to do that when the whore of Christendom is the one who caused this in the first place!"_

_"Why you insolent little bi-"_

_"Lady Anne!" Cromwell shouted. Anne closed her mouth and crossed her arms against her chest. This is how it's going to be, we are going to stay together and fortify this bitch!"_

_"What?!"_

_"Nothing, it's just that you ..."_

_"What?"_

_"Well Master Cromwell what my big brother is trying to say, it's that you've never been known to ... to ..."_

_"What?" _

_"What the Seymour brothers mean to say Master Cromwell is you've never been known to curse." Anne finished for them, getting frustrated with that ninnies' brothers. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, she thought. And now here they were stuck with each other in the middle of nowhere because all the useless servant were sucked out by that weird shit blue light and above all she was More. More of all people! Who hated her and probably blamed her like that pale idiot Seymour girl for this big mess._

_"Yes, exactly!" Thomas said, winking at Anne. Just think, he thought. With no Majesty around, she was here and he was here ... oh yes. But Anne gave him a look that said 'not interested' and he turned away mumbling curses at her.  
_

_Anne returned her attention to Cromwell. "So, suppose we do fortify this castle, just how long are we going to survive. No servants, no nothing-"_

_"Lady Anne I think we can survive. Our Norman ancestors did, our Saxon ancestors did, so we can as well. Besides the kitchens still have some food salted and enough to last us through the winter or as long as we remain here, now as for the windows, I don't want to seem paranoid but we need to shut them, some wood-"_

_"More is right, he and I will go get some from the fireplaces. You four stay here and try not to kill each other." He and More left before the four haughty proud idiots said anything._

_When they returned they had a look that said 'took you so long' and as usual with these noble idiots, he and More had to do all the work._

_"I am surprised you even opened your mouth."_

_"Don't worry Master Cromwell. I am not going to stay here long. As soon as we are done, I am going back to Chelsea."_

_"Chelsea? Ha! It will take you forever to go there."_

_"Perhaps but I got to try."_

_Cromwell chuckled. "I got you all wrong More, you are a good person, even if you are still a thick headed idiot."_

_"To you I am, but you've seen Anne and you've seen Jane whom I know you had designs to push into His Majesty's way. Do you think ANY of them would have made a good Queen."_

_"Do you want the truth?"_

_"Yes."_

_"No. I don't think any of them would have made good Queen, all of them would have been nothing but she-wolves preying on the weak and jealous."_

_"And yet you pushed them into His Majesty's way. Tell me why."_

_"Same reason as you want to keep your stubborn Katherine of Aragon's union with His Majesty, legal. Oh don't look at me like that we both know you were head over heels for her since you met her. Come one, she's the most beautiful and graceful woman ever? One would think you were her husband."  
_

_"I meant it as a compliment."_

_"Yes and bulls have wings. But you wanted the truth, that's the truth. I am furthering the cause of my faith. Anne Boleyn is a stubborn cow but she can be brought to her knees once she's been tamed, and Jane Seymour you just saw. She'll do anything to please her brothers and her brothers, especially the oldest one is a Reformist."_

_"Never took him for one."_

_"Exactly. That's why I considered her at one time. The Seymours are good, VERY good at concealing their appearance and they are not as noble, they are men who've worked for what they had, haughty yes, but at least they don't show of they've had the best education. You and me More, you think we are different but we are much the same. We both have had to suffer under these stuck ups. They think that because they've been to every university, to every prestigious court that they know everything but they've never had to work day in their lives."_

_"Maybe that's why God sucked up the servants, to punish the rest of us." More commented after they finished with all the windows. They had boarded all the windows and had extinguished some of the fires from the fireplaces. Whatever was happening out there, whatever was out there, they would not give it any hint there was a living soul here._

So then Mary Tudor, His Majesty's daughter shows up:

_They had been here for weeks. Anne was ready to give herself to the first man she saw -just not Thomas Seymour. He still crept her out._

_Jane snuggled close to Thomas More. If Cromwell did not know better, she wanted some action. "Could be worse." Cromwell whispered to More who served himself another cup of wine. They were all seated at the high table. Thomas Seymour began laughing at something he remembered. "Shut up." Ned said but Thomas kept laughing and said "Hey guys did you know I once saw Mary Tudor. Damn Lady Anne if you ever had a daughter with His Majesty she would have to be super seductive because that girl is beautiful and I mean beautiful. Too bad she has the face of I will kill you!Ha, ha, ha."_

_"Thomas please don't make this worse."_

_"I am serious brother. My God, she was wonderful and I nearly had her ..."_

_"Thomas shut up ..._

_"She said I was handsome but that stupid governess of hers, oh how I hate old Salisbury, she had to cut our time short-"_

_"Thomas will you please shut up? Nobody cares if you got down with Princess Mary or kissed her! For all we know she's dead and we will soon be dead if you don't stop laughing like an idiot!"_

_"Both of you shut up!" Thomas More said surprising everyone. _

_Thomas broke the silence with more laughing._

_"Son of a ..." Thomas Cromwell swore under his breath, hiding his head in his palm._

_"You think this is bad?" Jane asked. "Try living under the same roof as him for every day of yoru life."_

_Thomas Cromwell looked at Jane and shook his head. He certainly didn't envy her._

_Thomas Seymour's fits of laughter soon died down as they heard commotion from downstairs._

_"I am not going down there." Anne and Jane quickly said. The two elder Thomases looked at them in disapproval._

_Thomas Cromwell grabbed his axe and Thomas his sword._

_Thomas Seymour asked "Do you even know how to use that thing?"_

_"Of course I do, I have seen you young men do it."_

_Now not only Thomas Seymour laughed but his sister and brother, and even Lady Anne, joined them._

_Thomas More ignored them and along with Cromwell walked to the end of the great hall, just then the doors opened with one loud bang and everyone screamed, the women hiding behind them and Ned and his brother stepping next to the two older men, ready to defend their fortress._

_"Princess Mary?" Thomas More asked in surprise. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. They dropped their weapons. Anne and Jane dropped their forks and daggers and the younger Seymour brother dropped his pistol._

_"Dear God I thought we were going to die." He said._

_"Princess Mary, Your Highness, thank God you are here, you can-"  
_

_But the teen interrupted him. She was five feet five and until now they realized she had an axe which had previously been overshadowed by her muddled dark purple gown. "Give me everything you have to drink!"_

_"Princess Mary we are your friends, you can stay here with us-"_

_"I am not fucking around! Give me everything you have!"_

_"There is six of us you cannot rob us!" Anne said and Thomas joined her saying that she was only a Princess and far away from home and surely her mother was dead as her father was and in response Mary shouted louder "I AM NOT FUCKING AROUND EITHER YOU GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU GOT OR EVERYONE PAYS THE CONSEQUENCES!"_

_"GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU GOT!"_

_"Princess Mary, as your mother's dearest friend we should settle this-" More said approaching her but Mary hit him in the face with his axe._

_"Oh mother of God!"_

_"I am not fucking around!" She said in a desperate voice and Ned tried to approach her but Mary beat him and without even knowing why, feeling on high adrenaline she moved on to Thomas Seymour. Then to Cromwell._

_"Give me everything!" She shouted. All four men on the floor scared of the sixteen year old yelled to Anne and Jane "Go get her the drinks and everything."_

_"But-"_

_"For God's sake just do it woman!" Ned yelled to his sister. _

So the little Princess just stole all of our shit.

_Day 29, one month. Nearly one month and they were all sick, tired of each other. Their food had exhausted, and no thanks to the men, the so called men who let them be robbed by a teenager._

_A teenager and a Princess of all people!_

_"If we ever get out of this." Anne said, "let us say it was a mob of angry people."_

_"I agree." Cromwell said._

_"I second that." More said._

_"I third that." Jane said followed by her brothers._

_And finally on the thirtieth day when all hope was lost an angel came to them and took them upstairs to heaven ... or so they thought, until they woke up and realized they were all back to where they started, at the palace with everyone around them, except nobody noticed them._

_"What is going on?" Thomas Seymour asked, saying what was on everyone's mind. _

_Just then a heavenly being appeared and saluted them, congratulating them on their success for surviving the apocalypse nd that they had earned a second chance unlike those around them who were now in a new place of existence. _

_"So what now?"_

_"You will wake up in the damaged Earth and the new era will be entrusted to you and the survivors." He said and with a snap of his fingers they all woke up and for the first time they laughed. Yes, Earth was ravaged, and yes there were still people outside wanting to kill them, and yes everything was going to hell, but at least they had managed to put up with each other._

"Now" Thomas Cromwell wrote in his diary, "comes the fun part. Surviving the world."


End file.
